i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
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I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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