i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
