then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
