Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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