Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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