it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
