i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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