Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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