You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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