Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
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How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
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I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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