So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
