She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We left an ass print on the piano.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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