he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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