I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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