You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
