She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I think I died a long time ago.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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