I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
