Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
