i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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