Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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