yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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