I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize