He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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