I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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