I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
