did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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