Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(647): View more from Ontario

Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.

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(940): View more from Texas

I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.

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(786): View more from Florida

Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic

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(913): View more from Kansas

you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...

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29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Read it at the TFLN blog
(250): View more from British Columbia

i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl

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(315): View more from New York

There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.

(440): View more from Ohio

its Wednesday...

(315): View more from New York

they're reeeeeally big trays

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(850): View more from Florida

HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.

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(551): View more from New Jersey

Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.

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