Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.

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  (650): Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points. http://tfl.nu/731b
  Replies (5) Good night (1760) Bad night (547)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.

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  (251): My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me. http://tfl.nu/ksmg
  Replies (8) Good night (660) Bad night (2877)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now

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  (301): please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now http://tfl.nu/10rh
  Replies (58) Good night (1380) Bad night (13285)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?

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  (231): At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive? http://tfl.nu/xcbd
  Replies (14) Good night (3727) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?

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  (703): okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar. (1-703): I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up? http://tfl.nu/a4zj
  Replies (55) Good night (12188) Bad night (1265)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.

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  (314): Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there. http://tfl.nu/ndt3
  Replies (24) Good night (5018) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari

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  (973): If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari http://tfl.nu/13id
  Replies (22) Good night (1218) Bad night (2856)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it

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  (319): Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it http://tfl.nu/ymth
  Replies (22) Good night (2966) Bad night (1415)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"

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  (713): He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality" http://tfl.nu/r05f
  Replies (10) Good night (3453) Bad night (1311)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  That's thinking positively..

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  (717): I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012 (1-717): That's thinking positively.. http://tfl.nu/r4se
  Replies (3) Good night (1802) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes

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  (716): You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes http://tfl.nu/q993
  Replies (3) Good night (769) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Why am I feeling up grandma?!

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.

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  (248): Why am I feeling up grandma?! (312): I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text. http://tfl.nu/znfl
  Replies (2) Good night (1413) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.

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  (860): The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing. http://tfl.nu/fj2u
  Replies (7) Good night (591) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.

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  (319): Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth. (1-319): And in your bra. It was quite entertaining. http://tfl.nu/axvu
  Replies (1) Good night (702) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.

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  (509): I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/lleo
  Replies (1) Good night (468) Bad night (153)

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