About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"