Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.

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(413): I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic. http://tfl.nu/sxvb

Replies (80) Good night (31573) Bad night (1239)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?

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(319): Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota? http://tfl.nu/4k6s

Replies (48) Good night (1213) Bad night (3443)
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(512): View more from Texas

On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!

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(512): On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!! http://tfl.nu/5462

Replies (2) Good night (2360) Bad night (882)
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(516): View more from New York

That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it

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(516): That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it http://tfl.nu/ocmo

Replies (13) Good night (1699) Bad night (3265)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love

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(336): as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love http://tfl.nu/xemn

Replies (6) Good night (2643) Bad night (991)
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(817): View more from Texas

I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.

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(817): I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started. http://tfl.nu/bmag

Replies (24) Good night (3404) Bad night (1083)
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(903): View more from Texas

I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.

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(903): I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish. http://tfl.nu/384h

Replies (13) Good night (2528) Bad night (1220)
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(248): View more from Michigan

im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...

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(248): im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend... http://tfl.nu/rj6y

Replies (4) Good night (2460) Bad night (1141)
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(850): View more from Florida

the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people

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(850): the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people http://tfl.nu/zcj8

Replies (3) Good night (1644) Bad night (821)
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(907): View more from Alaska

Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.

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(907): Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina. http://tfl.nu/hpd0

Replies (36) Good night (2783) Bad night (886)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.

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(410): Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop. http://tfl.nu/b326

Replies (18) Good night (711) Bad night (1500)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me

(1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.

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(724): Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me (1-724): He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit. http://tfl.nu/ml5w

Replies (5) Good night (1498) Bad night (528)
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(703): View more from Virginia

He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX

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(703): He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX http://tfl.nu/gbwm

Replies (6) Good night (1443) Bad night (907)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.

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(401): There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying. http://tfl.nu/eu3f

Replies (6) Good night (1013) Bad night (300)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.

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(732): Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife. http://tfl.nu/naek

Replies (3) Good night (311) Bad night (846)

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