somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
