Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate. http://tfl.nu/09wt
  Replies (34) Good night (3812) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind http://tfl.nu/v27a
  Replies (7) Good night (3329) Bad night (1525)
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (339): Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car http://tfl.nu/oon7
  Replies (29) Good night (4702) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water.. http://tfl.nu/3ccr
  Replies (16) Good night (1311) Bad night (4195)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Thursday nights need to stop happening to me. http://tfl.nu/p744
  Replies (8) Good night (2427) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  apparently i was cut off before i even walked in

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): apparently i was cut off before i even walked in http://tfl.nu/ukez
  Replies (2) Good night (2356) Bad night (1154)
• Favorite

  (289): View more from Ontario

  You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (289): You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person. http://tfl.nu/dofi
  Replies (14) Good night (3298) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES http://tfl.nu/oz7x
  Replies (2) Good night (1781) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit. http://tfl.nu/3sfk
  Replies (14) Good night (3660) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm. http://tfl.nu/3dw9
  Replies (22) Good night (1908) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off http://tfl.nu/w6xr
  Replies (1) Good night (376) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick http://tfl.nu/akxs
  Replies (6) Good night (354) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  So much rum. So many feels.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): So much rum. So many feels. http://tfl.nu/mt6s
  Replies (0) Good night (651) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right. http://tfl.nu/7bat
  Replies (4) Good night (1031) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth. http://tfl.nu/2igt
  Replies (4) Good night (855) Bad night (281)

Randomize