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• (903): View more from Texas

  ....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (512): View more from Texas

  You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual

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• (386): View more from Florida

  I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?

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