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• (480): View more from Arizona

  just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.

  Fav 4 2725 922

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.

  Fav 12 901 4131

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis

  Fav 22 4136 971

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• (510): View more from California

  You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.

  Fav 20 1486 7724

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• 

  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?

  Fav 60 1611 7177

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• (914): View more from New York

  Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame

  Fav 9 3114 1559

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.

  Fav 14 5352 1312

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective

  Fav 8 1862 889

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• (585): View more from New York

  He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."

  Fav 25 1988 776

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• 

  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.

  Fav 6 1822 948

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• (801): View more from Utah

  The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.

  Fav 3 1226 786

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I just commented on the education level of his penis.

  Fav 2 993 896

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• (805): View more from California

  Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.

  Fav 9 961 620

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point

  Fav 4 630 801

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.

  Fav 3 882 499

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