just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
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so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
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Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.