dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.