well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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