i already hear my dad disowning me
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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