Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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