the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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