My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
