We're like a lot better than the average bears
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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