it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
