just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
