God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
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