eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
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Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
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It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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