So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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