coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
be right there i have to get my cape
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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