your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
