so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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