Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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