People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
