am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
