Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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