I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
