what day is it and did you see me today?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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