Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
