dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
