I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Randomize
