I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
