so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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