So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
only if we run a train.
done.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
